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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Summertime Blues?

Hi y'all!

Today at MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) I read an article lamenting and applauding the fact that it shall soon be bathing suit weather here once again in the great state of Arizona!

When it is 115 degrees F outside you cannot even hope to survive unless you swim or play at a splash pad--often! I liken it to be snowed in for four-six months in Minnesota with an active four year old and a toddler. For those of you who have not experienced this wonder esta no muy bueno. You go a bit (a lot!) stir crazy with the same walls, same toys, same mall walks, same McDonald's play area after so long. So, the only way to survive this heat is to get out in your bathing suit and have fun!

For those who are not "little" women I would imagine (as I am only one woman and can only guess how we feel as a whole) the words "bathing suit season" brings feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. I know I have to beat those mental lies into submission and I would venture a guess that I am not alone.

The article I read made some good points that I also found amusing. So, be ready to "throw in the towel" (into that cute beach bag!) and put on your suit because you have no excuse!

At the pool there will be (at least one!) of the following people. One, there will be that one person who never learned that white swimsuits are purely for tanning and contrasting that beautiful tan; NOT swimming. I do not need to know you that well, please. Two, there will be that gal who is in denial and swears she can fit into that medium, but will be rocking a large muffin top. Three, you have all seen that lady who is way too old to be shopping in the juniors section, however still insists on sporting one of those tiny-weeny bikinis! Four, hairy, beer belly--'nough said. Five, guys whose suits just do not fit correctly and you think they would be perfect for the plumbing profession. And, lastly, that person who thought tatooing their entire body was a great idea, an expression of themselves and art (bonus points if they are a wrinkly, older person).

Side note: It is ok to stare as long as when they catch you doing so you ask insightful questions. Where did you get that mermaid done? Local artist? What does that Chinese symbol stand for? Or make a complimentary remark. I really like how that portrait of your daughter looks so life-like. If you must be sarcastic you should probably keep those in your head. We are all thinking the same thing--You may regret all these at 75--but we don't need to express it out loud.

I swear, unless you are one of these people (and now you have no excuse, I'm calling you out!) no one will be paying attention to those extra baby pounds or winter insulation. They will all be trying to avert their eyes and avoid having a second look at the aforementioned offenders. ;)


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